How to Stop Worrying about What Others Think of You

How scary or uncomfortable would it be to go start a conversation with a stranger? For most people, starting conversations with strangers, especially with someone they find attractive is pretty anxiety provoking. That’s why so many of us tend to avoid doing it. And what if there was a person close enough to hear your conversation with a stranger? That would turn up the anxiety dial because they might judge how you interact. And what if there was a group of people who could hear your conversation with a stranger? That would be even scarier! More people could judge you. What if you are single and looking to go on dates and get into a relationship, or make more friends while stuck worrying about what others think of you? That would impede your ability to date and make friends. So what do we do? How can we overcome our fear of what others might think of us so we can just jump at opportunities to talk to someone attractive and make friends? Introducing, “If…then…” Statements. The way “if…then…” statements work is you start with asking what would happen if what you find scaryhappened? It goes like this. “If someone overhears my conversation with an attractive woman, then what?” They might find my flirting extremely awkward. They might also hear me stumble on my words, or see that I am nervous.” And you repeat this chain, picking up where you left off, until you run out of ideas to keep the “if..then statements” going. Continuing: If they find my flirting extremely awkward, hear me stumble on my words, and see that I am nervous, then what? I’ll feel really embarrassed. I’ll feel pathetic. If I feel embarrassed and pathetic, then what? I’ll feel really uncomfortable and not want to get into that situation again. If I feel really uncomfortable and like not ever getting into that situation again, then what? I’ll just feel really horrible. Like I’m worthless. If I feel really horrible and worthless, then what? I’ll just feel bad… As you could tell, eventually everything leads back to feeling discomfort. Feeling horrible. And this brings up the fact that all our fears are fears of feelings. Our fears are NOT contained with people or occurrences we fear. Fears dwell inside each of us as energy. This means we cause that energy. And if we cause fear, then we can let fear go as well. By applying “if…then…” statements, we do exactly that. We let those fears go because we are facing those fears when we imagine what would happen if we encountered our fears like if someone judged us. Great work. Play with that this week! Until we speak again, you were born to be real, not to be perfect. So go out there and be who you are. I’ll talk to you soon. To maximize confidence in every area of your life at rocket speed, get your (FREE) ebook, "5 Steps To Break The Anxiety Barrier" here.