How to Appear More Confident, Less Needy

Do you ever see someone attractive and immediately feel like it’s all or nothing – “if I don’t get into a relationship with that person, then it’s all over! I have to be with that person!” And then, does it feel like you put yourself out there too much to try to impress him or her to the point that it probably repels that person from liking you? When we come from a place of needing someone, we become repelling to the people we find attractive because they’ll see us as taking more value than we give. By needing someone, we show that we want to take value. What we want to do instead is be okay as we are no matter the outcome and constantly give value to those we find attractive. So how do we appear and feel more confident and less needy? I’m not talking about apply pick-up artist techniques of faking confidence to improve attraction. I’m talking about truly feeling confident and completely okay with yourself even if the person you like doesn’t like you back. The over-arching approach to being more confident and less needy is to have the mindset that you would prefer to be with that attractive person, but you don’t need to. You want, but don’t need. 3 ways to appear more confident, less needy 1. Live your purpose. Find what you love to do in life that brings you immense fulfillment and become grounded to it. In this state, no matter the outcomes you get in life, no matter if the person you find attractive doesn’t like you, you are motivated and excited by the mere fact that you are living your purpose. This makes you less needy in your interactions with those you find attractive, more interesting, and more laid back. 2. Plant seeds. If a gardener only planted one seed in his garden, then what would happen if that seed didn’t sprout? He’d never cultivate a garden! Likewise, if we only ever go after one person we find attractive, then our success in getting into a relationship all rests on whether or not that one person likes us back. Instead of doing this, we want to plant seeds from environment to environment, meaning look for opportunities to connect with people we find attractive everywhere we go. That way, if it doesn’t work out with one person, we are okay because our “garden” still has potential to grow. We still have other attractive people that we can potentially get into a relationship with. 3. Be more direct. Don’t hesitate. When you see an attractive person, don’t hover and follow that person without ever engaging. It reinforces anxious energy that you absolutely need that person to like you or you are not okay. Furthermore, if the person you find attractive picks up that you seem to want to talk to him or her but are too anxious too, they’ll see you as a bit needy and less giving of valuesince you haven’t even talked to that person yet, but you stare! Instead, be direct when you see someone attractive. Give yourself the 3-second rule, which means you have 3 seconds from the moment you see someone attractive to engage with that person. By being direct in engaging with those we find attractive, we appear more confident with more value to give, and less needy because we emit grounded energy that we are certain of ourselves and can handle whatever happens. When we feel more confident and less needy, we become more magnetic and uninhibited by outcomes in life because we know we are awesome no matter what happens. Apply these tips into your life this week! Until we speak again, you were born to be real, not to be perfect. So go out there and be who you are. I’ll talk to you soon. To maximize confidence in every area of your life at rocket speed, get your (FREE) ebook, "5 Steps To Break The Anxiety Barrier" here.